We all have moments in our lives that define us. These moments change our lives, and they stay with us forever. For me, one of those moments was when we brought home our little dog, Kelly.
In the beginning, Kelly was the solution to a problem. I had raised two children, and loved every minute. But they grew up and struck out on their own, leaving me with a great big hole in my life. No matter how hard I tried, I could not fill that hole, let alone close it. And if you’re wondering, I really did try.
So Kelly was the third child I never had, and the cure for a bad case of empty nest syndrome. I had no idea that I would fall in love with her, and that she would become such an important part of my life. We got her in 2008, when I was still working as a school secretary. So I had to leave her every day, until 2012 when I began blogging full time, and could work from home.
For nearly ten years, she has been my constant companion. She was happiest when she was in the chair next to mine…or on my lap. We did everything together, from taking out the trash, to visiting my dad…and everything in between. My husband and I loved her more than we ever thought possible. If you’ve never had a pet, it’s hard to describe, and even harder to understand. But it’s an unconditional love that is strong and true.
On July 22nd, we had to say goodbye to Kelly…and it literally broke my heart. She was 13 years old, and had developed a large tumor on her leg. It was inoperable, and had spread up into her hip. So we held on, kept her comfortable, and prayed that the tumor growth would slow down. In the end, it ruptured, and we knew what we had to do.
That day is sort of a blur, and to those of you who have experienced the process of putting a loved pet to sleep, my heart goes out to you. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. The whole time I kept thinking “maybe this is a mistake…maybe things will be OK.” But deep down I knew it wasn’t a mistake, and I knew things were not going to be OK. It was the last time we could show her how much we loved her. I know that now, but at the time, I couldn’t quite grasp it.
The void left after her death is unbelievable, and I did not anticipate its size. It’s so big that I can’t really see over it right now. Kelly was a treasured thread in the fabric that makes up our family, and now that thread has broken. I need to somehow mend it…and I have faith that I will figure out how. It’s just going to take some time.
I’m waiting for the day when I wake up and don’t feel sad. When remembering her sweet face will make me smile. I know that day will come, and I’m looking forward to it very much.
So…thank you for listening. It’s because of you all, and your support of my blog, that I’ve been able to work from home, and be with Kelly. I am beyond grateful for the time I had with her…and I just wanted you to know.
I made a new printable with one of my favorite quotes about loving animals. Just fill out the form below if you would like a copy for yourself.
Until next time…